So …what’s up?
I have a paper due in like three days and I’m just taking the time out to procrastinate and write about what I want because it makes me happy. I would like to talk about a “friend” of mine who shall, for the purposes of anonymity, be kept anonymous. K? K. This “friend” has become a bit of a bother to me as of late. I hate everything about the kid. Those who know me need no name to know of whom I speak, but keep that to yourselves. Why is he such a fag? The way in which he lives is repulsive. His mannerisms and the way that he portrays himself is just... fucking awful. It’s one thing to be yourself. If he did that, great, more power to you, but he doesn’t. He tries to be who he thinks he should be. Well, I shouldn’t say that. You never know what people are trying to do without being them, so I should take that back. What he is trying to be is an artist. And I don’t mean like an artsy, gifted artist, I mean the “Hey look at me! I am sooooo creative” kind of artist.
What’s more is that we have know each other since I was in, I don’t know, seventh grade? Our friendship has always been a little rocky. He is what I would like to call “a douche”. He is the kind of guy that is as emotional as your craziest girlfriend. He gossips, he holds grudges, and he is one of the most ignorantly opinionated people I have ever met. I have also neglected to mention that I hate the way he has started to dress. This is going to piss you off and you don’t even know who I’m talking about. Lets start with when I met this joker. We were at some amusement park with a church youth trip. I see this new kid coming to meet up with my group in line for some roller coaster. He has bleach blond hair, an earring (I think. Might have come later.), and was wearing some kind of shitty christian band’s t-shirt. He was the late ‘90’s definition of a douchey kid. So after some time, I got to know him and we began to hang out at church and eventually with a christian youth program in the area. This guy was always trendy, but not in the way that you’d want people to say that you’re trendy (girls). Just thinking about him so much is making me quite angry. As years progressed, he tried to be the good christian kid, he tried to be the rebellious kid. He tried to date and “get some” for a long time. And I mean a long time. If I had a dollar for every time he told me a story about how he almost hooked up with some chick, I’d have like six dollars, but that’s beside the point.
What is the point is that he is a douchey hipster now. And I don’t mean the hipster that listens to shitty indie rock, I’m talking about the bandana-wearing, pipe-smoking, PBR-drinking, tie-die-shirt-having, bike-riding, “lost-in-my-deep-inner-thoughts” hipster douche that we would all like to push down a long flight of stairs; maybe one with a rancor at the bottom who could finally put an end to those sorority chick sunglasses he wears. He is trying to be a writer, writing a novel that’s supposed to “fuck with your mind” or some shit. Mother fucker couldn’t think himself out of a sticky situation against a fourth grade kid with Down Syndrome.
Now, hipsters, as they are known, are becoming a very large annoyance among more normal people. They are like new-age hippies, are they not? This guy, is changing who he is to fit a category of people. Like every stereotype about hipsters, he fits. The kicker is about his drug use. If you read his “novel” you might think that this guy had to have taken some hallucinogens in his short, pathetic existence, but you’d be wrong. Really wrong. The last time we spoke, we had a discussion of drugs. He asked me what I thought was the worst drug in existence. I thought for a second, and I said it was probably meth because of its addictiveness and because of how much it physically effects the user. After a minute or so, I changed my answer to what I consider to be one of the biggest scourges in modern society: crack cocaine. It’s discovery and sale has rocked inner cities and been one of the biggest setbacks for black America in the last 60 years, but that’s for another writing. The real story here is that his knowledge of drugs seemed to be taken directly from a D.A.R.E. seminar from 1996. He honestly thought that all of those scare tactics used by the government were true; the myths about addictions to heroin, meth, cocaine, pot, all of it. This guy has smoked pot like three times maybe. I’m not trying to put people who don’t do drugs down, I just can’t stand when people like him think that drugs are going to unlock some kind of a creative edge in writing. Not only that, but I’d just like to know where this kid got his information from and what causes him to be so certain of horribly flawed information.
I was going to get into something else entirely with this writing, but this will have to do for now. Can’t let these things get too long.
I have a paper due in like three days and I’m just taking the time out to procrastinate and write about what I want because it makes me happy. I would like to talk about a “friend” of mine who shall, for the purposes of anonymity, be kept anonymous. K? K. This “friend” has become a bit of a bother to me as of late. I hate everything about the kid. Those who know me need no name to know of whom I speak, but keep that to yourselves. Why is he such a fag? The way in which he lives is repulsive. His mannerisms and the way that he portrays himself is just... fucking awful. It’s one thing to be yourself. If he did that, great, more power to you, but he doesn’t. He tries to be who he thinks he should be. Well, I shouldn’t say that. You never know what people are trying to do without being them, so I should take that back. What he is trying to be is an artist. And I don’t mean like an artsy, gifted artist, I mean the “Hey look at me! I am sooooo creative” kind of artist.
What’s more is that we have know each other since I was in, I don’t know, seventh grade? Our friendship has always been a little rocky. He is what I would like to call “a douche”. He is the kind of guy that is as emotional as your craziest girlfriend. He gossips, he holds grudges, and he is one of the most ignorantly opinionated people I have ever met. I have also neglected to mention that I hate the way he has started to dress. This is going to piss you off and you don’t even know who I’m talking about. Lets start with when I met this joker. We were at some amusement park with a church youth trip. I see this new kid coming to meet up with my group in line for some roller coaster. He has bleach blond hair, an earring (I think. Might have come later.), and was wearing some kind of shitty christian band’s t-shirt. He was the late ‘90’s definition of a douchey kid. So after some time, I got to know him and we began to hang out at church and eventually with a christian youth program in the area. This guy was always trendy, but not in the way that you’d want people to say that you’re trendy (girls). Just thinking about him so much is making me quite angry. As years progressed, he tried to be the good christian kid, he tried to be the rebellious kid. He tried to date and “get some” for a long time. And I mean a long time. If I had a dollar for every time he told me a story about how he almost hooked up with some chick, I’d have like six dollars, but that’s beside the point.
What is the point is that he is a douchey hipster now. And I don’t mean the hipster that listens to shitty indie rock, I’m talking about the bandana-wearing, pipe-smoking, PBR-drinking, tie-die-shirt-having, bike-riding, “lost-in-my-deep-inner-thoughts” hipster douche that we would all like to push down a long flight of stairs; maybe one with a rancor at the bottom who could finally put an end to those sorority chick sunglasses he wears. He is trying to be a writer, writing a novel that’s supposed to “fuck with your mind” or some shit. Mother fucker couldn’t think himself out of a sticky situation against a fourth grade kid with Down Syndrome.
Now, hipsters, as they are known, are becoming a very large annoyance among more normal people. They are like new-age hippies, are they not? This guy, is changing who he is to fit a category of people. Like every stereotype about hipsters, he fits. The kicker is about his drug use. If you read his “novel” you might think that this guy had to have taken some hallucinogens in his short, pathetic existence, but you’d be wrong. Really wrong. The last time we spoke, we had a discussion of drugs. He asked me what I thought was the worst drug in existence. I thought for a second, and I said it was probably meth because of its addictiveness and because of how much it physically effects the user. After a minute or so, I changed my answer to what I consider to be one of the biggest scourges in modern society: crack cocaine. It’s discovery and sale has rocked inner cities and been one of the biggest setbacks for black America in the last 60 years, but that’s for another writing. The real story here is that his knowledge of drugs seemed to be taken directly from a D.A.R.E. seminar from 1996. He honestly thought that all of those scare tactics used by the government were true; the myths about addictions to heroin, meth, cocaine, pot, all of it. This guy has smoked pot like three times maybe. I’m not trying to put people who don’t do drugs down, I just can’t stand when people like him think that drugs are going to unlock some kind of a creative edge in writing. Not only that, but I’d just like to know where this kid got his information from and what causes him to be so certain of horribly flawed information.
I was going to get into something else entirely with this writing, but this will have to do for now. Can’t let these things get too long.
